Well, it seems like it's been a long time since I have written, and then I realize that it has been. Mostly because I got to have a 4 week break between treatments this time. Also, my time has been full when I have been able to do stuff.
This last round really did it to me. I had a really bad day on the Sunday following the infusion. I took a while coming back from that. I guess I did write about that already. I have been more tired this time. Before I've had a week where I can't and don't do anything. Then about a few days of taking it easy and then a week and a half of pretty much doing normal things. This time I probably had a week and a half of not doing anything. Then a full week of just getting tired everytime I did any kind of activity. Before I was able to ride bikes to school for the 2 weeks before my next treatment. This time there is no way I could have done that. I have been getting a little short of breath just climbing the stairs. Not huffing and puffing, but dragging my feet the last couple of steps. I don't go downstairs very often, so it's not like that is happening all the time. But then again, I don't go downstairs, so I am not used to that activity. I don't know if I should be doing any kind of exercise. The bike riding (1/2 mile each way which took me maybe 10 minutes) was perfect and I felt good afterwards. Since the weather changed, the girls haven't been riding so I am not and so I am not getting any exercise what so ever! If you know me, I hate exercise in any form, so I guess I should be happy I am not doing it. But at the same time I want my heart to be healthy and to be able to climb the stairs and other normal activities. I will have to ask the doctor about that. When I can start again in January, I will be so rock bottom when it comes to fitness I will have to start from scratch.
Good news!! I had an echocardiogram yesterday to check how my heart is holding up as some of the drugs can do damage to the heart. I will hear about that test on Thursday from Dr. Sri. But today I had an ultrasound to check the size of the lumps and the radiologist said "they have significantly decreased in size"! I am really happy about that.
Back to how I have been feeling. So last week I was more tired than I have been on my 3rd week before. I was realizing how nice it was to have an extra week because I would be starting out this round no up to par. I am, yesterday and today, feeling much more normal. I have done things around the house and even decorated for Christmas. I don't have a lot of decorations, so it doesn't take me much time to do that. I do have a new house, so things don't have an automatic place to go. I got it all finished today and the storage boxes are put away and it looks festive around here. Tomorrow I will be able to finish a few things that need doing before me being out a week. By the time I start feeling normal again, it will be just a week before Christmas. I am going to have to turn over a lot of the gift portion of Christmas to Jeff. He actually does most of the stuff normally, so that shouldn't be too hard on him. He is a last minute shopper, though, so I will have to get on him to get some things done so we can get what needs getting in the mail on time.
I have been thinking that if I had kept on my 3 week schedule, then my 5th treatment would have been a week ago and I would be starting to feel better right now. But I can't dwell on that too much. I can say that in a week I will have been through the worst part of number 5 and will only have one more to go!!! I am so ready to be done. I am not looking forward to this - not that I have looked forward to any of them at all. I just have those couple of days that I am dreading. I shouldn't end on that note. I guess I can say that I still feel the prayers that are being offered on my behalf. I do know that my Savior Jesus Christ has been sustaining me through this ordeal. I have not understood the Atonement very much in my life, and I can't say that I really understand it all that much still. But I can say that I know that it is real. Jesus Christ did a lot more than teach us the way to live and love. He paid for our sins. But he did a lot more than that. He took upon Him ALL of our infirmities, not just our sins. All that we suffer, He has suffered. He did this and so He can understand and sustain and support us through anything that we go through. This knowledge and understanding has been the only thing that has gotten me through some hard hours. And being on the other side of this is so good that I don't want to go back into it again, but I will and I know that I will come out on the other side with even more understanding and strength.
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