The Calm After the Storm

Every day is a new day. That is what I have to go by through this whole ordeal. Just one day at a time - or one minute at a time, which I had to do on the Sunday and part of the Monday following this last treatment. I feel more energy every day. I have less energy than after the other treatments, so I can't expect to follow exactly the same pattern. In fact, I was told that one makes a pattern and follows it pretty closely each time. That has not been the same for me. I guess I can see a little bit of one, I just expected to feel the same, too. But the intensity of the crummies has been varied; from not being able to get out of bed, to being able to wander from living to bed-room. But I can see that I feel pretty good on treatment day and the following day. I start going down hill day 3, day 4 is the worst and I progressively get better from there, at a different pace, but it does go uphill after day 4 and 5. My taste is totally off for a good week. I have a hard time eating as absolutely nothing tastes good. My mouth is dry and filmy. I do notice that when I sleep better, the next day is much better. I am using the zolpidem that the doctor gave me for the first 4-5 nights, then Tylenol pm if I still need more nights of sleep. That has made a big difference. My worst days have been when I go to bed and think "I am tired enough to sleep" and then I have a terrible, wakeful night.

I feel almost normal today - well, normal for what I have these days. I can do most things around the house, I do have to rest more and I get out of breath going up the stairs - not huffing and puffing, but a little bit out of breath. My taste is back to where I can eat most things without gagging and it actually gives me a little pleasure. I am so happy about this as I can look forward to enjoying Thanksgiving dinner. And looking ahead to Christmas, I will be able to enjoy the week or so before that, too.

We are just getting out of the throes of a big wind storm that hit Eastern Washington on Tuesday evening. I don't know what the highest wind speed was, but it was extremely gusty and sustained high winds. Everyone around here keeps referring to the 1996 ice storm that did a bunch of damage, and this one is considered to have done much more. The power went out Tuesday afternoon right before 3:00 and we got ours back last night (Wednesday) at 6:00. Some in the area are estimated to have to go another couple days without. Tuesday night we had scheduled to have the Sister Missionaries over for dinner. Tuesday is Taco night around here, so I had taken some chicken out to thaw for dinner. I was doing some sewing - cutting a bunch of projects out and had just sewn some trim on a bed skirt for N's bed. I finished, put a pan on to cook the chicken, moved the car out of the garage (in preparation to get to piano lessons). 3 minutes after I stopped sewing, the power went off. I figured we could cook the chicken on the bbq. Jeff called me on the way to piano, and had stopped for something and his battery died. I dropped off the girls and went to jump start his car. We were both headed home to get ready for dinner then I would go get the girls (stopping at the store first). We came to a spot where the highway was closed from a power line across it. He went one way, and I went the other to get to another store and the girls. We passed about 5 downed trees on the back roads to and from piano, praying that nothing would actually come down on top of us. Jeff had to keep re-lighting the bbq as the wind kept blowing it out. It took almost an hour to cook 2 pieces of chicken. We got a new sister, and it was her first night here. It was really fun eating by candlelight and having soft tacos. The poor sisters live in a basement apartment of a farm house that runs off a well, so they don't even have water. (they came the next morning to shower).

Wednesday school was cancelled, and the girls and I just hung out at home. I didn't do much, but read and be with them. We decided to go out to dinner instead of cooking eggs on the burner on the bbq. The power came back on 10 minutes before we left, but we decided to go out anyway. It was the same plan as most of the residents of North Spokane. It was like a weekend night at the height of the dinner hour. 30+ minutes wait at Olive Garden. We opted for Azteca next door as they told us we would have a 15 minute wait. There were only 3 other people in front of us. Well, we ended up getting to know another family who came in after us. We were still waiting after 30 minutes. The party right before us had just gotten seated and guess what???.... The power went out! By then, there were about 10 or more other families waiting, and they all left. We were told to wait about 10 minutes and they would have to close if the power didn't come on by then. We all cheered a party of utility workers who were leaving from their dinner break.Well, we took off to find another place to eat. We went to another part of town which still had power. We started to go into Taco Time, but their door was closed and locked even though there were workers in there. Come to find out later the drive-thru was open. We decided to go to a place next door which is more of a local mexican restaurant place. We placed our order and were waiting for it when this same family we had befriended at Azteca walks in! That was a fun coincidence. The food was really, really good and plenty of it! I think Azteca lost customers in us last night! We came home to a warm house, and the ability to see what we were doing. I actually really like it when the power goes out. We have a big box full of old candles.. We had them all over the living room and kitchen. We have a gas fireplace which keeps the living area comfortable. We have food to eat that doesn't require cooking. We played games and the girls built a fort in the living room. Today, there is still no school as a lot of the district is still without power. They are doing chores and playing in the fort and doing some fun stuff. I just did my 'chores' and I am going to do some cross stitch and sewing.

My next treatment - if kept on the 3 week schedule - would be on Thanksgiving day. It is scheduled a week later on December 3rd - my Mother-in-law's and a couple of nephew's birthday. It will be nice to have 2 full weeks of feeling really good this time.

The Blahs

This week has been full of lots of different feelings. It was not good, but there were some good points. First, my mother came to help this time. It must have been inspired. The last 3 treatments I have been able to handle just lying low and letting things go. We had a couple of fun days together before Thursday. Then Thursday (Jeff's and my anniversary), was ok and Friday wasn't all that bad. Actually Saturday was ok to start out with. I think she wondered why she came as I was able to get up and do things. I made the pancake batter Saturday morning and sat out in the living room with the family life going on. I would get my own food and water. Then the afternoon hit and I can't even remember what happened. I don't remember if I was with it or went in my room to escape. I know that the neighbor girl came to play with A and they were quiet. Jeff took N and the other neighbor girl shopping as N needed to get a birthday present for a friend.

Sunday I was NOT good. I couldn't get comfortable. I couldn't sleep or sit or lie down. I just writhed on my bed wishing it would all go away. All I could do was think - "well, that's one minute closer to feeling better". Finally in the evening, I asked Jeff for a blessing. That was about the only thing I could think of to answer the question "What can I get for you?" Our neighbor, Clint, came over and helped Jeff with that. About 30 minutes later, I felt like I could at least not dread the next few minutes and I wasn't so un-attached. Friday night, I didn't sleep well (with a pill), and I was so tired Saturday that I thought to not have to need a sleeping aid. I was wrong. Sunday I took one at bedtime and I slept like Friday - about 3 hours uninterrupted - then off and on for the rest of the night. Monday was about the same - maybe a little better. Last night was much better. I don't know which is the better of the two - sleeping for 3 hours, awake for 2 and off and on for 3 or sleeping 6 hours straight and then be awake from 4:00 on. The sleeping pill does not knock me out for the whole night. 

Monday was a much better day. I rested all day and helped mother with the laundry. I need to get up and move around to get the blood pumping out all the toxins. Walking around the house does the trick. We also sat and planned Thanksgiving stuff. We do this every year, even though it is always the same stuff. (Although this year we are adding a green bean dish and we've never done that). Tuesday was about the same - I felt a little better. I even walked out to the main road to watch the girl's cross on their way to school. Mother and I each had stitching projects to do, so we sat here all day doing that and chatting. I am very tired today, as I have been the whole time. I can tell that the tiredness is lasting longer and being a little more intense. A and I hung crepe paper while Grandma took N shopping for her birthday. That was tiring. I have puttered around just to get up and moving, but spent most of the day on the couch.

The time with my mom here has been such a blessing. She did cleaning, playing with the kiddos, driving for me, and made N's birthday a special day. Without her here today, poor N would have spent it just like any other day off of school - pretty much boring being inside stuff. There was a time last night when I was worried for her (my mother). She took the girls to their piano lesson. Lesson's start at 4:30 and it is a 10 minute drive. It is right now 4:45 and completely dark. She isn't comfortable driving in the dark, especially in new, unlit areas. Well, the way to lessons is curvy, back roads. Luckily she had Siri to take her there and back, but it was sketchy. I sat here watching it get darker and darker hoping she was calm in her drive. She came home fine, but was glad she was home. Jeff got them on his way home from work. Normally, the piano teacher has been coming here on the week that I can't drive. I just wanted to not have to have her do that. 

This time, Dr. Sri said that my blood work has all been consistent, and that my kidneys are handling all the drugs well. The nurse said that they upped one of the drugs because of it. I am hoping they don't do that again. I have an echocardiogram scheduled on the 30th and an ultrasound to check the lumps on the 1st. The next treatment is the 3rd. They have to make sure my heart is holding up well through all of this - some of the drugs can take a toll on it. I do know that this may be one reason why I don't sleep well. My heart rate doesn't really go down when I am resting. It isn't like it is racing. But, when I have counted my resting heart rate at a normal time, it has been about 66 or 67. I did it at a time when I felt it wasn't calming a little, it was about 72. I know it's not much of a difference and maybe it doesn't matter, but it just seemed to me it wasn't slowing as it normally does. I was a little worried I was getting constipated this time, but that is no longer a concern.

Well, Jeff should be home soon. N has been asking all day when she can open her presents (Grandma took her shopping for a present and Jeff is getting ours on his way home tonight, so there haven't been wrapped gifts out here yet). She wants to do it "When dad gets home and changes his clothes". I think she thought it was generous of her to let him change his clothes. But she has to wait until after dinner like everyone else does on their birthdays. Jeff just opened the garage door. I'm off - to no where - but will watch everyone else get dinner ready and maybe even join them at the table. 

4th one down!!!!!

just a quick note to write that today was not only Jeff's and my 27th year anniversary, it was also my 4th infusion. Not the way I expect to celebrate a milestone, but I am happy to have number four under my belt. I feel pretty good today and even enjoyed dinner tonight. Kim Porter brought dinner of a chicken tomato bake, plus peaches, bread and soup for another night. It was really, really good and so thoughtful of her.

I learned that my creatinine levels were good and have been remaining low, so they upped one of my drugs that effects that. This means that my kidneys are doing well and they can put me on a higher dosage of the drug that effects those levels and make it more effective in fighting the cancer. They did that last time. I wonder if that is why I felt more tired last time?  I guess that means my body is reacting well to everything. She is also scheduling an echocardiogram to make sure my heart is staying healthy as some of the drugs can cause damage to the heart. I am going to have an ultrasound to see if the tumor is shrinking as they wish it to do.

Jeff and I celebrated last night by going to the temple then out to dinner at Clinkerdaggers. That is a very nice restaurant in town. Part of its ambiance is that it looks right out over the Spokane Falls, but it was dark and we couldn't really see it even with some flood lights on that part of the river. The restaurant itself was really fun, though. I had prime rib and Jeff had a really good salmon. They gave us a creme brûlée for our anniversary and we also got bananas foster which was really, really good. It was a great night to spend with my eternal companion!