One down, 29 To Go

It has finally started. I am nearly 7 weeks post-op and so today was my first radiation day.

To re-cap, I have been healing really well this last month and have most of my function and range of motion back for my right arm. My left arm has not had very many problems with healing and I got my range of motion back really quickly with that. I had my physical therapy appointment on the 11th and that went well. I don't have to go back unless I find that I am having problems or getting any kind of swelling. She sent me with instructions on how to massage to clear out my lymph system and stretching exercises. I also have to do some massaging on the scars to break down any scar tissue. I have to do the massaging once a day and the stretches 3-4 times a day. I haven't been very good at the stretching, doing maybe one time a day. I don't feel very many limitations, mostly when I go to hang up something and I can't quite reach without it being uncomfortable. I need to be better at doing those stretches. I also was told to get a compression sleeve. I need to wear it daily until about 2 months after radiation ends. Then I will need to wear it just when I work out (never), do any type of heavy work or fly. I was told that it may be uncomfortable, but it really isn't too bad. If I put it way up on my arm, it pinches in my armpit, but I try to put it just under where it does that.

I am really lucky with the timing with all of this. My hair fell out just when the weather was getting cold, so I just wore hats all the time. It is almost grown in enough to stop wearing the hats. I also will not have to wear this sleeve in the hot, hot weather. Just through June. I am feeling really, really good. I guess when one feels really crummy, then when you start to feel better, it seems like everything is lighter and brighter.

Yesterday was my safety day (in regards to the radiation). They put me on the bed of the machine and ran through all the stuff to make sure the computer settings were all correct. They also put two other markers on my. Actual permanent markers and covered with a clear bandage. I don't know why they couldn't have done that instead of tattoos. But oh, well. I have to be careful of the bandages in the shower and not scrub them. I am assuming that they will have to replace them a couple times during the next 6 weeks. But I will be careful not to scrub them off or peel them in any way. Today was the real thing. It took exactly 10 minutes for them to do all the adjusting and then the zapping. It is just like getting an X-ray. The machine adjusts to where it needs to be and zaps whatever it zaps at me. I don't feel anything. It will be a pain to go out every day for a 10 minute appointment, but at the same time - it is so close that at least I am not driving 30 minutes to the doctor's office for a short appointment every day. It is an 8 minute drive. I was home half an hour after I left this morning. That is a good thing! Tomorrow I have my next infusion and visit with Dr. Sri, so I will be gone all morning, and Friday I have an appointment with an ophthalmologist in the morning before my radiation. I started on Tamoxofin 3 weeks ago. That is an anti-estrogen pill I have to take every day for 5 years. So far the only side effect I have had from that is hot flashes. It is that time of my life that it would happen any way, and it is definitely happening. I haven't gotten to the point of actually sweating in public, but I have been awakened in the night having to throw off all the blankets for a couple minutes. I am also hardly wearing my hat (which my hat of choice is knit), at home. I have been tempted to cast it off while out doing errands, but I don't think I am ready for that just yet. Maybe next week....

My hair is coming in just as straight as it was before. It is also dark. We'll see if it stays that way or not. I was so wanting curls and I imagined that it would mostly be gray or white. I remember when a good friend - Paige Cahoon - had her hair grown back. She told me (I didn't know her before she lost her hair) that it was almost black before and it came in a nice dark brown. Of course not knowing her before, it looked totally normal to me, but it probably was weird to her having it be different. I don't know if I will color mine or not - I just have to wait and see. It will be probably another year before it is the length I want it anyway.

Well, not much else going on here. The weather has been really nice. It is cold in the mornings and warm - up in the 50's and 60's in the afternoons. I have been walking at least a mile in the mornings when the girls go to school. I was going to start riding my bike with them this week. But I just realized that I won't be able to do that. I had told the gal who scheduled all my radiation appointments that I could do 9:30 or after and before 2:30. When she walked away, she said "So between 9 and 2:30" and I corrected her and said 9:30. Well, she scheduled me at 9:20. That means I can see the girls off and then leave. So I am missing my morning walk. Maybe I'll see if I can change that tomorrow. I asked about changing one day for next week, and the other gal (all the radiation nurses do the scheduling, too - they don't have just a scheduler), said that if I need to change a day, to talk to them the day before as things are changing all the time with new patients starting and older patients finishing treatments. But I am wanting to change my actual everyday time. I don't want to be difficult, but I also want to be able to walk or ride to keep up my energy.

You Guys Made Me Ink

One of my favorite scenes from "Finding Nemo". I hope the video uploads correctly. But today my saying is "Cancer made me get inked".

That's right! I have tattoos. 3 to be exact. And I have to say...... What the Heck! Why would anyone go through that no matter how beautiful or sentimental the art or how drunk they are at the time. OUCH! is what I have to say about it. No way, no how would I do that for a full-sized one.

Today I went in for what is called a mapping session. It is pre-radiation as they need to program the computer and machines to do what they need to do specifically for my treatment. I was put through a CAT scan machine to measure everything, and with stickers and markers, they found the right position for me to be in before marking permanently with the tattoos. I have one on my sternum and one on each side. Granted, they were just one prick with the needle, but still it is a tattoo. I have to be put in the machine precisely the same position every time to make the radiation hit what needs to be blasted.

I had to be on my back with my arms up over my head. Problem with that is at 5 weeks post op, my right arm is still pretty sore and stiff. I do exercises to straighten it by lying on the floor with my arm straight out to my side. I slowly let my forearm down so it is also flat on the floor. Then I try to move it up more and more. I haven't gotten it up very much past straight out. Just the other day was the first time I was able to put both hands behind my head with my head propped on a pillow. So, today on the flatbed of the scanner, I needed to be in the position they will put me in every time. The technician had a type of blow up pillow thing around my head and shoulders that was programmed to be blown up around me in the position I will have to be in each time. I wanted to be able to grasp the handles they had for me above my head, so I stretched way out of my comfort zone to do that. I only had to be in that position for about 20 minutes while I was put in and out of the scanner about 3 times for him to get just the perfect position. I was just getting a cramp in my neck when we were finally done.

Yesterday I actually went in for my pre-radiation visit with the radiologist to discuss my pathology report and the treatment plan. We are on track. Both today and yesterday, I was told how well my surgical site is healing and one of them couldn't believe it has only been 5 weeks since surgery! I am grateful for a healthy body that can take all of this stuff and still bounce back so well and heal properly and quickly.

Here are some of the things that stood out to me from going over the pathology report with Dr. Call.
First and important - surgical margins: widely clear from invasive carcinoma. This is of course everything one wants to hear when a tumor is being removed from ones body. Clear margins means they got everything they were going after and the cancer was contained in the tissue removed with no cancer left behind.
Next: the Surgical Pathological Stage after Neoadjuvant chemotherapy - ypT1c N1a. I have no idea what this means, except that it is the stage of the cancer after chemotherapy which is given before surgery (neoadjuvant). I guess this is good? Everybody seems to be happy with it. The tumor removed was 1.2 x 1.2 x 0.9 cm in maximum dimension. I can't remember what it was before this all started, but I know the chemo shrunk it significantly. I will go back to the other reports and see if I can find it. And another thing that stood out to me is the Histologic grade: Low Whatever that means???? I am sure I can find out what histologic means, but I don't have time to look that up. I just like the word LOW in there!

So, everything is looking good. I am on track for my next step which is radiation. I have my run through appointment on the 22nd- they call it a Safety day. Meaning that they put me in the machine and punch in all the numbers to make sure that it is positioned correctly and the computer will work as it is programmed to do! They don't do any radiation that day, just a run-through. The radiation starts the following day and will run for 30 sessions. This means 5 days a week for 6 weeks. We talked about the possibility of me taking along weekend if we need to. I can go in on a Thursday morning, and back in at least 6 hours later for a 2nd round that day. Then take Friday-Monday off and do the same thing on Tuesday. There has to be at least 6 hours between treatments. I don't think I can do twice a day for 15 days, but I can do it if we need a 3 or 4 day weekend. Pretty much we don't have anything planned from now until the end of April. The only thing we would take off for is to make a quick trip to SLC for Gaius' blessing. I want to get this started quickly to get it over with quickly.

The only thing I am really not looking forward to about the radiation part is the skin burning. There have been things about each stage of my treatment that I haven't looked forward to, but I have gotten through each one and it is now behind me. There are 7 weeks between me right now and the end of this next experience. Since I still can't believe that 5 weeks have passed since my surgery, I am hopeful that this time will go quickly. There will be something every day, so that should help make the time go by quickly. Well, I need to go say prayers with the girls and get them tucked in. I am 5 minutes over what I told them. Jeff is at some training, and he was maybe going to be able to call - he's calling now. BYE

In Like a Lion.. Out Like a Lamb

I can't believe it's March already. I guess most surgeries go this way. Mine certainly did. It started out recovery seemed to be hurting and stretching on forever! In fact, I was really worried the 2nd week that my arm was going to atrophy from mis-non-use. My left arm bounced back so quickly. Luckily it did as I was able to do so much with it. Like reach for my own glass, clean myself, feed myself and get in and out of bed without much trouble. If I had had a radical surgery on both sides, I can see how some people feel like their arms are tied to their waists. My right arm has been pretty much useless for the last 3 weeks. It is just the last week that I have actually been able to do some things without much pain. I say pain, but I don't mean "OWW! that hurts!!!!". More like "ooooh, that muscle is tight and needs stretching" type feeling. I still can't raise it without supporting it with my left hand. The muscle that enables me to lift my arm straight out to the side is still numb and heavy feeling. I haven't driven myself anywhere yet. I plan on driving myself to the radiologist appointment and PT appointment at the end of next week. If I don't feel like I should on that morning, I will call someone. I did run something to the school the other morning. I drove very slowly and made sure no one was around when I pulled out on the road. My arm was heavy to lift up to turn the wheel. I was ok doing that half mile on a back road, but I won't drive myself to the grocery store a mile down the highway, yet.

I have been out walking in the mornings. The girls are riding their bikes most mornings, so we take off at the same time. They ride through the neighborhood next to ours and I walk out to the main road. By the time I get there, they are down at the other end of that neighborhood where there is a crosswalk and I can watch them cross. I have been walking for about 20 minutes or more. The other day, we all walked, so I went with them to the school. I also met them after school. I hope to be able to ride my bike in the morning and afternoon here pretty soon. I will wait until I get the ok from the physical therapist.

I had my week 25 infusion of Herceptin yesterday. That goes on for the full 52 weeks from when I started the last of August. I should have started Tamoxafin yesterday, but the pharmacy has to order it, so it should be in today. I also got reprimanded by Dr. Sri yesterday because I have not been taking Calcium. I hadn't gotten any yet, so I hadn't started that. I got a year and a half's supply as the store had a sale on a large bottle and it was buy one, get one free. The Tamoxafin will be a once a day pill for 5 years, with a reassessment part-way through. I may switch earlier than 5 years to another anti-estrogen chemo pill, and that will go for another 5 years. I am not excited about the side-effects of this one. I can't remember them all and most of them are a very low risk, but still a risk. It increases my risk of getting ovarian cancer, cataracts, blood clots and stroke. My lifestyle puts me in a low-risk category for all of these, but the drug will increase that by a little bit. I have to have yearly PAP tests, visits with an ophthalmologist and bone density tests.

My peach fuzz is about an inch long now. Not quite thick enough to go without a hat, still. Maybe another month. It is getting warmer out, so the hat is going to have to go soon anyway. I think (hope) my eyelashes are growing back in. I wore some eyeliner a couple times this last week and Jeff didn't like it. He said it was too much. It's hard to put on when there isn't a line of lashes to use as a guide.

We are looking to go to SLC soon for G's baby blessing. We may do it in a couple weeks as it will be before I start radiation. It will be a long weekend whenever we go as Jeff can't take off too much work. If we want to do a full week 'vacation' we have to wait until May as radiation will go from the middle of March through the month of April.

My fingernails ended up having a weird reaction. A few posts ago, I put a picture of the red spots on them. That happened on one hand back in October and the other hand in December I think. they got these bright red spots and the nail was sensitive to pressure. Well, that part of the nail must have died because as it grew out, nail separated from the finger earlier than it should have. So the white part of the nail went way back almost half-way into the nail bed. It is hard to explain, but I had to be really careful cleaning out my nails, as stuff could get way back into my nail and it was hard to reach with a file. It has grown mostly out, so I just have a couple of the fingers where the white part of the nail is deeper than normal. They aren't sensitive as they were in the fall. At least I didn't loose my nails! My cheeks are a little numb. I didn't notice it until a couple weeks ago when a blanket softly brushed up against my face. Dr. Moline said it would be something to discuss with Dr. Sri as it wasn't something she attributed to surgery. It is not extremely noticeable or bothersome in any way. I just notice it when I lightly brush my cheek with something soft. Well, Dr. Sri was stumped too. I don't know if it is due to all this cancer stuff or has to do with my TMJ? We shall see if it gets worse or better with time.

Well, I am feeling this in my upper arm, so I should stop typing. I think today will be the last day with the ace bandage. I have gone without it for the majority of the day the last few days. I was going to go without it all day today, but I figured I will do that tomorrow so I can have Jeff around to put it on for me if I feel like I need it. Hooray for progress!!!