In Limbo

When something new is going to happen, you have the emotions of a new thing and then some anticipation of what it will be like. Then comes the waiting game. And more waiting.....

That is the time period I am in now. Waiting.......  I looked up synonyms for wait and there were several types of wait. Some of the synonyms were 'down time' 'linger' 'procrastinate' but my favorite was 'schlep along'. I think I am more of In Limbo than anything else. I have had tests, and results of the pathology report and then shared with others what I have. Now I just have to wait before I know anything else. What type of surgery, how long of recovery? radiation? All those questions I am coming up with and I have to wait for the answers. My first appointment is on July 28th, so hopefully I will get answers to most of those at that time.

It's not like I don't have plenty to fill my time, so maybe I am not doing much of the 'schlepping' that I think I am. I still have a list of things the girls and I want to do for the summer. The heat has been my excuse to not go out and do much, and the girls aren't coming to me with "I'm bored" so I am enjoying a relaxing summer. (Of course they owe me 10 minutes of weeding time , no questions asked, for every time I hear "I'm bored". It's happened only once). But we have a couple more trips 'back home' planned. I still need to find some different types of water sources around here. There is a swimming pool/water park close and I have heard of a couple nice lakes. The only lake we've been to had signs posted "prevent swimmers itch, shower after swimming" - hoping to find another lake close that might not have postings such as that.

Either I am just a non-emotional person, or all the reality of this hasn't hit me just yet. I feel like life is just as it was 3 weeks ago. As I said above, I have plenty to fill my time, so I am not really sitting around contemplating and worrying about what I don't have answers for yet. It isn't any use worrying about what I can't change. So it is just life as usual. OR, maybe once I have those answers I am waiting for, reality will hit and who knows what then. In my mind I will just be able to have a grip on my schedule and what is coming next. I do like to PLAN!

Also, I have had so many people reach out and offer help. I feel badly for not having any answers to "How can I help"? It has been wonderful to be on the receiving end of so much outpouring of love!

Well, Happy Sunday! and I guess at this point I can only just keep plugging along!