Breast Cancer Awareness....Year

So the title was supposed to say BCA Month Year, but it wouldn't let me do the strike-through on the title. Oh, well.

Phew, this last month and a half have gone by so quickly. I have wanted to sit down and write something of all my One Year markers, and here I am about to say, "One year ago today was my 3rd treatment"!!!! Actually, looking at the calendar, I guess today is that day! half way down was one year ago. Well, now I am actually all done with treatment. One would call me a survivor at this point. But I remember visiting with Dr. Moline at the beginning and she said "Once you came through those doors the first time, you are considered a survivor". I liked that. I actually passed that on to a teacher at N's school who was just about ready to go through her last chemo session.

A couple weeks ago, I had my last chemo (Herceptin) and I just scheduled to have the port removed. They didn't have an opening until the end of November, so I have to go in once to have my port flushed (that has to happen every 6 weeks if it isn't used). I am feeling really good. Unfortunately today, I am home from church with a bad cough - in hopes it doesn't get worse than it is.

Last week I was in SLC with Tori who had a breast lump removed. Last year, she had a biopsy that showed it was benign, but it has grown quickly, so she had it removed. The path report was all good - it was benign and they got all clear margins. I went down there to help her, but mostly to play with baby G - who is now 8 months old! I had a fun time being Grandma - I hope to be able to do that lots and lots! He is so fun. He is doing the army crawl, and while I was there got up on his hands and knees and rocked back and forth, but then plumped on his tummy to crawl around. He is a really happy, laughing, smiley baby! I was also able to go to the Temple with Carter and we went out a couple times for lunch and dinner. It was really nice weather there and the only thing I wish we had taken the time to do was to go up in the canyons to see the fall colors. Both Carter and Tori suggested I go to a certain bakery - Les Madeleines - and get a Kouign amann (pronounced kween-ya-mahn). OH MY!!! I am hooked. It is really flakey, and probably too sweet, but it is just the right combination that makes it a heavenly treat. I am tempted to try to find a bakery around here that makes them, but I might just eat far too many of them if I do. I'll just have to make it a place to go when visiting the kiddos. (just googled it, and no, it doesn't look like they sell them around here..., but Trader Joe's has a frozen one that I'll have to try and some Seattle area bakeries make them!) - OK, I keep checking out new stuff on this yummy thing, and I may have found a recipe!! YIPEE.- can you say "obsessed"?

I got home Tuesday evening and Jeff's sister Valerie was here to visit. I forgot to mention that Jeff's mom has been here since the beginning of September. We have been having a nice visit, but I have been so busy in September that I feel I haven't been able to really get into a schedule and get things done. And I've been gone for hours almost every day. So much for setting a good home-schooling schedule. Once I got home last week, I see that I have a much lighter schedule. Valerie took Mom shopping on Wednesday - the same day that Amanda is at school - and I had the whole house to myself, which I haven't had since June! I got a lot of stuff done including some cleaning out of the garden. Thursday I woke up a little achy. I thought maybe it was from digging and pulling too much in the garden along with the bone strengthening medicine I take sometimes makes me achy one day out of the week. Well, I also had a sore throat on Friday, not so much the achy body, though. We stayed home and enjoyed visiting and watching the windy/stormy weather. Saturday was pretty much the same, but this morning, I have a cough that isn't too bad, but I hope it doesn't get worse. One thing that is very interesting, is that I have not had any kind of sickness through this whole last year. This is the first time that I have anything resembling an illness. That was definitely a blessing.

I am so looking forward to the holidays which, the anticipation starts now and builds until after the new year! We went to the pumpkin patch in SL - Tori scheduled that for that Saturday so I could go with G for the first time. He, of course, didn't get all excited, but it was especially fun being there with them. We never did get around to painting the pumpkins before I left.

Well, I don't have much more to write about my health. I do have a lot on my mind about other things, but that is for a more personal thing like a journal, I think. There are so many things out there on the internet that I have an opinion about, but I am not one to put myself out there to be criticized in that way. Maybe I should as all the negative things I hear about and read should be balanced with a more positive perspective. I am especially turned off with the upcoming presidential election. This campaign just makes me sick. All the posts about "this will make your jaw drop" "BOOM" "Bombshell" - goodness, enough already. We [should be] are intelligent human beings. But I wonder these days. Are people really swayed one way or another because of negative, harmful things being said about one person or another? I guess so or they wouldn't do it. I am not just speaking of political things here, now. And maybe my earlier sentence about us being intelligent isn't so true any more. If society relies on the media and one post or another to form their opinions and make decisions, then we are just a bunch of mindless robots being led hither and yon.
I am so grateful to know that there is truly a God, but more than that. That He is a Heavenly Father - a loving being who truly cares about us. That there is more than just this life that we live. That we can learn and grow and progress - from the life before, through this life on earth and in the Eternal life to come. I know there is opposition and heartache and pain here on earth. I know every single person struggles with temptation, illness, disappointment and/or difficulties. That is the whole purpose of life. We have someone to turn to who can and will help us navigate through all those. He loves us. His Son loves us. They want us to grow, stretch and progress. That is why all these things happen. It isn't because He doesn't care or doesn't love. It is because He loves perfectly. How else can we know without experiencing.

I was reading Ephesians 4:11-15 (and on to the end of the chapter) yesterday and that scripture had more meaning to me. "And He gave some apostles, and some prophets [etc.]......that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;"
Boy! isn't that true. It is so easy to be swept up in the emotions and moods of people. Especially since it is so easily obtainable at our fingertips. From all this hype with the election, to opinions people have on any topic under the sun, down to reviews for a product you wish to purchase. There are so many varying "winds of doctrine" who use "cunning craftiness" to get our attention and our 'following'.

 But we have a way to navigate this. I love that the true gospel isn't a big hype. The world is so noisy and doing everything loudly and seductively to get our attention. But there is one way -a perfect way - that Heavenly Father has set up that we can know!
"...that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." (Moroni 10:4-5)
It is between you and Heavenly Father, in the name of Christ with the manifesting of the Holy Ghost. No middle man - not relying on some person's opinion or human perspective. Just between you and the Godhead! How more perfect can you get?

Well, I'm glad I got that put on paper. I guess I did 'put that out there'. I can see how my cancer experience has helped focus my perspective in ways that otherwise wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't give up what I now understand better and what I have learned this past year. If this experience is what made it possible for me to know, feel and understand how and what I do now, it has all been worth it. I just hope I can keep going - Onward and Upward!

A Year Ago.....

It has been a while since I posted. This is another shortened-because-I'm-writing-on-my-iPad type post. I have been going through a lot of "a year ago" memories, actually since the first of 2016.
A year ago: we moved here; I found a lump; I got called as RS president; I had my mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy; I found out I had cancer; I had my port surgery; and just a week ago was my year mark on my first chemo therapy. Soon it will be losing my hair, last chemo, surgery, etc, etc. (One more etc to quote Yul Brynner.)
I have one more chemo infusion. I had the last full-blown chemo on December 30, but one of the 4 drugs, Herceptin, has to go for a full year. My last one is scheduled for September 21st. Herceptin doesn't have any drastic side effects, so it is not hard to keep taking that one. But I will still celebrate!!!!! For sure!!!!!
The summer was full of fun activities and lots of relaxing. A had YW camp the end of June. The Gilbert's came for the 4th of July as well as my parents. That was fun to be feeling well enough to go so stuff with them. Speaking of stuff, we seemed to eat one meal just to plan the next. Our first meal was brunch at Frank's Diner and I don't think I was hungry the rest of the weekend. Of course I ate, but probably over did it. The end of July, A, N and I went to Snoqualmie for another YW camp. N and I spent time with friends and she also took a couple of art classes. Then the 3 of us went home over Stevens Pass and stayed 3 days in Leavenworth. They have a summer theater there and we saw "The Sound Of Music" and " Beauty and the Beast". I think we might make that a tradition. It was really fun. We went to Grand Coulee Dam on the way home a drove highway 2 all the way which I have never done. The rest of the summer was just relaxing, we did Silverwood one day and got ready for school. We also grew a pretty good garden this year. Maybe I'll think to post some pictures of that. I have been feeling better and better since radiation ended in April. For awhile there, every day I would wake up feeling better than the day before. And people would comment "wow! You're looking so much better". I take that to also mean "wow, you sure looked haggard there for awhile". 🤔  I really feel pretty much like I did before all this started. Sometimes I get tired, but that was a normal occurrence before. My sleep cycle seems to be similar. Some nights I sleep all night and some I wake several times a night. I am on a chemo pill that I take daily for 5 years -Tamoxifen.  It is anti-estrogen, so one side effect is hot flashes. Those hit hard some days and not so bad others. It can also have a negative effect on my bones, so I have to take a bone strengthening pill weekly. That is ok, but does make me achy sometimes.

I have been walking some, and with school starting, I ride my bike to the school to take and pick up N. I come home winded, but even after a week am feeling like it's getting easier. For school, N is in 2nd grade and A is 7th, but we are home schooling A. So far so good (all of 4 days). Jeff's mother is here to visit for a while. It is sure good to see her and spend some time with her. Our niece Brenna and her family are in town for Tom's clinical this fall, so we get to spend some time with them and their cute little baby O. Tori just scheduled a surgery the first part of October, so I am planning on going there for a few days to help her (but mostly to play with baby G 😀) Well, my page has come to an end, so I guess I am done writing. I could keep going, I just won't be able to read it.

I Can Do All Things Through Christ

If there is one thing I have learned through my whole life is that this is a true statement. It has been confirmed to me through this cancer journey that with the help of Christ, I can accomplish all things - hard things.

This last Sunday was Fast and Testimony meeting at church. Once a month we fast for 24 hours and give the money we would have used for those meals to give to the welfare funds of the Church. On that Sunday, our meeting includes people getting up to bear testimony to the congregation rather than being assigned ahead of time to prepare a talk. (which I did the previous week).

Anyway, this last Sunday was this meeting and Jeff got up and spoke about how it was a year ago that we found out about my cancer. (has it only been a year?) What he said reminded me of the tough times I had gone through. He also said that at some points, I was ready to give up. I do remember that. I remember saying that I was done - I just wanted to give up and not keep going. But I was able to turn to my Savior Jesus Christ and find strength to keep going.
What if I had given up? I could have just said "this is enough!" and stopped treatment. Heading into the 2nd-6th treatments, I knew what was coming. But I also knew that there was hope and healing at the end of the sickness time. I just had to hang on. I pondered a lot on the saying "Enduring to the End". There are lots of definitions out there what Enduring means - how just hanging on doesn't cut it. But I have learned that sometimes that is all you can do. Sometimes you only have enough in you to just wait. Waiting isn't bad. Actually it is a good thing sometimes. It is in those waiting moments that one can really focus on getting strength. Building it up to be able to then have the strength to get over that hurdle. That doesn't mean that the end comes just by waiting. Waiting is part of it and can give you the strength to then proceed and work toward the end.

The end of this scripture in Phillippians 4:13 is soo, so true "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." When the really hard things come - or just the little hard things - it is Christ who gives us the strength to get through. I can now look back at this cancer journey - but it holds true with ALL aspects of life - that in the deepest (hardest, toughest) times, I was able to get strength from my Savior, and then when I was strong, I could keep going.

I look back on my life and can see how this has held so true. I could have given up many times over the past 51 years. There were times on my mission when I was done, but I wasn't finished. I kept going and was able to finish, and finish well. If I had given up at the toughest times, I would have come home and then wondered if I really could have finished differently. There have been other times in my married, parenting, & church life when I was done. When I was ready to just stop and not go on. One time, I actually did give up. I had worked really hard preparing for a test to pass off Swedish - the 4 years required by BYU - to get all 16 credits with a language test. But when the grades came out, they weren't what I wanted or expected to get. I gave up. At the time, I was sure that I would go back the following semester and retake the test. I didn't purchase the credits and here I am 30 years later and I don't have that on my transcript. That one decision to not purchase those credits has led to me not finishing my degree. I know I can do something else to get the degree, but because of that I have put off doing it.I should have realized what I now know: that getting through would bring a higher reward,

But in most of my life I have kept going. I am so grateful to have this perspective from this side of my cancer journey. I made it through. I can do all things through Christ. He is my strength and support. I have a greater understanding of what life really means. Just as I do with other hard things I have endured. I understand that I am strong and those aspects of my life where I have gone through hard things, I am stronger because I held on, worked hard, and sometimes just waited until the pain was lessened so I was able to move onward and upward.

Nearing the End of the Tunnel

Everyone has been commenting and complimenting me on how well I look. Last week, Jeff and I took a long weekend trip to McCall, ID. It was a nice get away. Jeff got the trip through work for being a top salesman last year! We haven't had a "just the two of us" trip in 15 years! It'll definitely be less than 15 years until the next one. One of the gals came up to me (there were about 14 people there with the company) and complimented me on my "cute Pixie cut". "You wear it well." I thanked her and said how it was growing in nicely. She looked surprised that I would have had it even shorter than it is now. I then explained about cancer and chemo. So, I guess it is not so obvious to outsiders any more that I am a cancer patient. Since then, I have had several people tell me how nice my hair looks and that I pull of the short hair really well. That's nice - but I am not going to keep it this short, that's for sure. For one thing, I am getting to the point that it is just long enough to get some funny sticky-outies. And I'm getting hat hair when I wear a hat, which is often as I still need the extra warmth or protection from the sun. So I am for sure going to be growing it out longer than it is now. I am not sure if I'll go for the same length I had a year ago. Of course when it grows 1/2 inch a month, it'll be a long time until it gets that long again. In fact I figured that it will be at least October before I have measurable bangs. I do like the ease of care it offers. I just lather up my head with my face soap still. Maybe that is why my hair is so soft.

It has been a while since I have posted anything. There really hasn't been much going on differently in my life lately. I am feeling really good. I don't think that I really had much adverse reactions to radiation. I didn't ever get extremely tired. Aside from the bad burns on my skin which went away rather quickly, I weathered that pretty well.As I said, everyone has been telling me how well I look - that my color is great and such. I guess maybe I looked awful those months before. But I am feeling well, my brain is functioning normally, etc. That isn't to say it's tip-top, I still have forgetfulness problems, but no more than a year ago. I just looked at my medical notes and I had my first (first for this whole procedure, not first ever - but I guess it was also the last..) mammogram on June 30th last year. So it hasn't quite been one year since this whole journey started. I had the biopsy done on the 6th of July and results would have been just a few days later. Phew! What a ride this last 11 months has been. I look back on it thankful that it is over and hoping never to have to do that again. At the same time, I see what I have learned about myself and others and glad for that. I wouldn't have learned what I have in any other way. I am not saying that I would want to do any of this over again, but it sure is a lot better looking back than a year ago looking toward the unknown.

I am sitting here trying to come up with something profound to say. I don't know if I can put into words all the things that go through my head. There are so many horrible things going on in the world these days, and at the same time, there is so much good happening. Unfortunately, most people tend to look at and focus on the horrible things. I read a blog today about how we can point fingers and blame this horrible thing on that situation, or whatever. But what it all boils down to is misunderstanding and hate. Love is the only thing that can overcome the evil in the world. Just as Christ said "MY peace I leave with you". There is no way to legislate or vote in something that will make wrongs go away. The only way over all evil and wrong in the world is through love. Christ's Love is the only way. Love can't be forced or made into law. It has to be taught. When we teach that and we all live that way, then there is no room for hate. Just as light dispels the darkness, so does love dispel and overcome hate and evil. It is so simple! In fact, so simple that too many people will brush it off as being not enough. But it is just that - simple, basic truth that will make it all work out in the end. If anything, I have learned that I need to make my life more simple and not run here and there looking for happiness and peace.That I have all I need right here, in my family and in my faith. That loving others will bring me peace.

May The Fourth Be With You

Way back in the day - about when one of the original Star Wars movies came out - maybe The Empire Strikes Back - I happened to hear this saying on the radio. I thought it was so clever and couldn't believe that nobody else was saying it to each other since SW was so big. I remembered it and it has been a race between me and my nephew Caleb to see who can wish the other one "May the Fourth" first. Fourteen years ago, my nephew Keegan was baptized on the 4th of May. I was asked to give a talk at it, and I chose to do a talk on the Holy Ghost. The first thing I said as I stood up was this line and I had every one's attention. I likened the Force to the Holy Ghost and that we as members of The Church of Jesus Christ really do have the Force with us and we can have it with us all the time if we remain worthy of it - "It" being the Gift of the Holy Ghost. Anyway, that is the story for our family behind this special day of the year!

This year, it has significance to me. Yesterday was the last day of radiation! So May the Force be with ME!

             As you can see, I am not very good at selfies. My front camera is broken, so I have to do a blind capture. Of course, the nurse didn't do much better with not getting a blurry picture, but at least she got the whole me in it. Behind me, you can see a big door. That is the door into the radiation room. It is about 8 inches thick and made of metal and other containment materials Above it (the fuzzy light in my selfie) is a sign that says "In Use" - meaning, don't come in as it is hazardous. There is even a hazard sign on the door. And that is where I am when all those hazardous rays are being released - directed right at me. Not any more!!!! I am so happy to be done with this! My skin has been healing a bit this last week. Saturday and Sunday were probably the worst for the red area behind my arm. It didn't ever get weepy or goopy. But it did get raw and close to blistery looking. This silvadine cream and vaseline gauze has been very soothing and helpful. It is a pain wearing a big pad over it to protect my clothes and keep it from drying out. The nurse made a tank top type thing out of gauzy material. I probably have to wear all this for another week at the most. The red area was about 5"x6". The edges are healing, so the worst part is now about 3x4 now. Every once in a while, I'll get a prickly feeling, like it is being scratched with sandpaper. And the redness around my sternum is getting really itchy. It is drying out a bit and I'm having a hard time not peeling it or scratching it all away. I have to put some kind of material (clothing or something) over it and just tap it to relieve the itch. At this point the best lotion has been Calendula. I still put the Emu Oil on it at night and sometimes Aloe Vera. I try the hydro-corisone, but Calendula takes away most of the itch and soothes at the same time.

I have started a hiking group to try out different places to go hiking around here. We went two weeks ago to Bowl and Pitcher and had a nice hike. I planned on going to Manito Gardens last Friday, but it rained and there were only 3 of us going - all 3 of us decided we didn't want to freeze (it was about 58*) and get wet. So I planned the same hike for today. N woke up sick and so I had to back out. That ended up cancelling it as the others decided not to go either. One of these days we'll get there. N has been watching Scooby-doo all day. I'm a little bit tired of "Rooby-rooby-roo". But it is helping her take her mind off throwing up.

Another thing I did was ride bikes with A to school today. Finally I don't have my early radiation appointment. I was having to leave the same time as A&N, so I couldn't walk or ride with them to school. I did pretty well. It's only a half mile there, but the way back is just the slightest incline, so I have to work a little harder coming home. I was a little out of breath, but I could have kept going. I had to gear down a little, but I did better than the last time I rode which was after my 3rd chemo treatment in October.

The weather has been perfect spring weather. Cool nights and 70's - 80's. The strawberry plants are thriving. This weekend is supposed to be really nice, so we are going to get a little bit more dirt for our tomato box and go get some plants and seeds this weekend. I have some lettuce growing that came up from what was left in the garden last year. The girls are excited to get some pumpkins and watermelon again. I am going to try cucumber if I can find an english cucumber plant (I got one last year, but it froze and I couldn't find another one). Also peppers and jalepenos again. The carrots were pretty much a waste, but I may try that again. (I didn't thin them, so they grew really weird). But the lettuce was really great and this year I'll plant a few seeds every couple weeks so we can eat it all summer rather than have it all grow at one time.

I guess that is all. I still have to go in every 3 weeks for my herceptin infusion. That will go on through August. I only have 6 more of those to do! Wow, I didn't realize it was that few left. I am going to go get fit for prothetics next week. It doesn't bother me much - I thought it would. But I am going to be happy to have a girlish figure back. Last Sunday I was putting a dress on and wondered why it was all baggy in front and tried to get it to straighten out until I figured out that I was needing to fill it out instead. I've been wearing lots of jackets and scarves. It's getting a little warm for that. On that note - I know I mentioned it before, but since I was diagnosed with cancer - and all that comes with it. I couldn't have asked for better timing for everything. I had my first chemo infusion the week before school started. I missed out on a couple of things like the primary program and some school events that fell in the few days after treatment. But I lost my hair just as the weather was getting cooler. So I wore hats all winter long. My grandson came with perfect timing the week before surgery. I have to wear this compression sleeve for up to a couple months after radiation ends, which puts it right about the time school gets out and the weather stays hot consistently. It is bothersome on the few mid-80 days we've had so far, but by the time it stays that warm, I won't have to wear it all the time. I will be healed up and everything by the time Jeff and I go on a get-away at the beginning of June. He qualified for a trip to a resort in McCall, ID for being a top salesman. Originally it was supposed to be Tahoe and in May, but it got changed. I don't think I would have been healed enough to really enjoy it all if it were to be even a week earlier. I will be tip-top shape (or should be) by the time school gets out. Or at least I will be able to get myself into tip-top shape by then. I keep having these thoughts about ladies who fight cancer and then go on to run marathons or something. I don't think I am that crazy - or I should say, I don't think that is in me - at least it doesn't interest me in the least. I do however want to get into better shape and do (casual) bike riding and hiking. So that is my goal. To get stronger and [heart] healthy-fit.
So with that in mind - May the Fourth Be with You and Me. I am counting on it. It has been with me for the last 9 months and I have gained strength because of it and it has carried me through the times that I haven't had any or very little strength. And it has made me stronger!

Red Rover, Red Rover, I am Red All Over

OK, so I am not red all over, but I couldn't come up with any other catch phrase with Red in it. The photo below does not do justice to how red my back and underarm area is. Jeff took the picture yesterday and it is way more red today. It is almost purple. The spot on the top is the most red and then a swath under my arm is about the same color. The rest of my back/side is the lighter color and my chest is covered with splotchy dark red spots (like a rash) that may come together to make the whole area look like a newly painted stop sign. It hurts! and is really itchy. I know that the peak of the redness/burn will come about a week or two after the radiation actually ends, so that means I have about 3 weeks left until I can start feeling relief from all this. It isn't so bad, but that area is also swollen and the skin and underlying muscle are tight from the burn and weren't all the way stretched back to normal from after surgery. (I was not so good about remembering to do my stretches) OK, so it is bad - it is uncomfortable with a seat belt across it, I'm starting to feel it hurt when I lie on my back and even just reaching for something can make the whole area be noticeably painful. Not cry out in pain (we're actually having an issue on this very thing with N - trying to teach her to suck it up and not need consoling for every little scratch) - back to what I was saying, not-cry-out-in-pain, pain; but suck-in-your-breath-sometimes-pain.  And the itch can be distracting. I try to gently rub my clothing, just moving it enough to give some kind of relief from the itch. The hydro-cortisone cream helps with that. And I am putting on lotions, aloe and emu oil frequently to help with the burning. I don't know if it is helping to actually cut down on the severity of the burns or just giving temporary relief to the area??? I don't want to find out by cutting down on it all. As I say, just about a month from now, I should be seeing noticeable difference and recovery from all of this! 

 My energy level is pretty much back to what it was before all this started. Sometimes during the day I hit a wall and need a power nap - and sometimes the power nap turns into a couple hours, but that was normal a year ago. I noticed that my sleep patterns are really similar. For a few days out of the month, I wake several times during the night. Some nights I am awake for a couple hours. And some nights (like last night!!!!) I actually sleep all night without waking or having to get up. I am awakened now with hot flashes, but except for the couple nights where I wake up 5 times - every 45 minutes - and can't go back to sleep for half an hour, it is all manageable. I guess there are some medications (surprise! NOT), to help with hot flashes, but they are anti-depressants and I don't want to add something that I don't have to. The Tamoxafin is enough on it's own. Dr. Sri did say that I most likely will adjust to the drug and level off somewhat so the side effects won't be so drastic. 

I went in for a temple recommend interview the other night and President Martin - the counselor in the Stake Presidency - who interviewed me is an Oncology Pharmacist. He knew all about the drugs that I had and was able to tell me a little about the advances that have been made very recently. Having the HER2 positive used to be a really bad, bad thing and survival from that type of breast cancer was very low. Well, with Herceptin (which I read has only been in use for the last year or so), being HER2+ is actually a very easy and straightforward treatment now. Herceptin is a type of miracle drug for that and they pair it with Perjeta which was the only option before and it raises the survival rate way higher! 

Not much other news from the family. We are enjoying the nice spring that is happening right now. Last week most days were actually near or above 80* and this week just around 70. Spokane doesn't have lots of dreary misty, rainy days. When it rains, it rains, then moves on to partly sunny or all sunny. Having grown up in Western WA, and being one of very few people who really like that weather there, it is hard to adjust to mostly sunny days. I like a big storm and rain for a few days in a row. I still feel that when the sun comes out I need to be outside soaking it up because it won't stay for very long. But I'm getting used to it. I'm looking for some fun hiking spots close by. I have started a hiking group with anyone who wants to join me. I would like to finally hike Mt. Si and Rattlesnake Ridge this summer when I am visiting my mom and dad. There, I wrote it down, it's a goal! All those years we lived in Snoqualmie, and I've never climbed those two popular hikes. I have done Little Si, but never all the way up to the top of Mt. Si. So I am doing hikes around here to bring my body up to a good fitness level to do this. That's about it! 

OH, tomorrow will be the last of 5 weeks of radiation. Dr. Call said that the last week, they focus the rays directly on the surgery scar, so it won't be blasting the whole area like they have for the last 5 weeks. That is a relief! 

Old Habits Die Hard

When I got Lasik surgery 8 years ago I was so happy to be done with glasses. But the habit of pushing up glasses or carefully reaching under the glasses to rub my eyes took a long time to go away. In fact, I still sometimes do that when rubbing my eyes - slide my finger up as if under the glasses to take care of that itch. Yesterday when I was drying off after my shower I reached my hands up and did the motion to wring water from my hair (like pulling hair into a ponytail). I actually wondered for a split second why there was no hair in my hands.
Speaking of hair, mine has been growing back since the end of January! It's maybe an inch and a half long. It doesn't look like it will be curly.  It seems to be just straight as can be - at least that is what it looks like around my ears. The top has a little lift to it, but I think it's because it is so short. It is dark with some grey strands mixed in. Not enough to make it look greying, but Jeff says there is some grey. On Friday when I left radiation, I passed a gal who was just going in to that office. She was completely bald and not wearing anything on her head. I thought - well, I guess my hair is long enough - if she can go shiny head, I can go with a little fuzz. I contemplated going hatless on Sunday, but didn't. But Monday came and since then I have gone to all my appointments and errands without a hat. I keep one in my car just in case it is cold. I do need something for when I go out in the sun so I don't get sunburned, but for now, I am good without. I went to church last night for a meeting and it was activity night. So a lot of people have now seen me without any adornment. I think I am ready to do this. Besides, when I do wear a hat and then have to take it off because it is too hot or I am at home, I have funky looking hat-hair.
I shaved my hair off on September 16th. It has been 7 months since then and 3 1/2 since my last chemo treatment. Looking back I would say that it wasn't so bad. At times it was actually nice to have no hair to worry about. When I was so sick and went a day or two without showering, I didn't have greasy hair. It wasn't there to get in the way and I didn't have to think about getting it cut or styling it. It was especially nice after surgery when I couldn't do much with my right arm. I didn't have to struggle drying it or anything. I would have liked to not deal with a cold head - especially at night. But the little lap blanket that Heather M. made for me was perfect to keep just above my pillow at night so I could tuck it around my head when I got cold and just push it off when I didn't need it. It was one of the side-effects that I was most dreading, but really it was easy to get used to. It is also some kind of a statement without having to say - "I have Cancer" - people understand a little why you might looked haggard or might need a little more help or patience or why you are having to say NO to requests, etc.
I am 1/2 done with radiation! Starting to get itchy and my underarm is the most red at this point. Still feeling great and getting lots done around the house. I haven't been able to deep clean since August, so I am doing a little bit of that every day. I know a lot of people would tell me "don't worry about that!" or "don't over do anything". I am not over doing - just doing a little bit each day. I don't have a goal to turn the house inside out in a weeks time. I am doing only what I can. Also, I like to clean - well, I kind of like to clean, but I do like a clean house, so again, I am doing a little bit on the days I don't have other obligations. I am also purging stuff. I keep trying to downsize and simplify, so that is partly what I am doing. Although looking at all the junk we have, one wouldn't know that is what I am doing. I look at our neighbor's garages when they are left open and wonder how it is they don't have anything in them. There is a nice storage room downstairs in each place, but we have all our food storage and luggage down there. Plus all the walls in the garage have shelving which we have filled. I do have to say that we use what we have, but I have also kept a lot of things over the years - that is what I am purging out. It is something that I like to do, so it is fulfilling to me to get that done!

I just was going through old posts and saw another one with this same title. The first paragraph is almost verbatim with this one - funny! But I'm not going to change it.